This weekend away was such a blessing. It was much needed & the down time in nature really forced me to go deeper in my thought life.
I’ve always run from pain. I’ve always avoided it & did everything I could to ignore it. I have cried many tears over the course of my life. For a long time I use to hate it. Literally LOATHE that I would hurt as much as I did. That I care as much as I do. That I love as passionately as I do. Why? Because I always end up getting completely broken.
You see. It wasn’t until a few months ago that I came to this point of not running. Something came up in my life that hurt. Bad. And then shortly after it only got worse. There was a huge sense of pain in my gut. Feelings of worthlessness, feelings of inadequacy, regrets, anger, frustration & disappointment.
I found myself at a cross roads. Either running from this pain or face it knowing that it is temporary. The pain was immense, but the glory that to come is far greater. The hurt was deep but His love is deeper. The feelings of worthlessness sounded so convincing but His death on the cross proved my worth.
You see, I’ve spent my entire life trying to prove I am worthy of being loved. Running from the tears because I felt it was a waste. I felt that my tears weren’t worth anything. I felt like embracing the hurt did nothing for me because I didn’t know Him. Not a single tear that has fallen has gone unnoticed. Not a single hurt that left a scar is not given a purpose. Not a single regret should be regretted. Why? Because this is all temporary. One day, we will all leave this world & all the hurts that come with it.
Yes, life sucks sometimes. It can hurt. It can destroy us if we don’t cling to God & His promises. One day, it will all go away. It’s a promise. People will disappoint you, but God never will.
Stay strong fam, a brighter day is right around the corner.